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WE LIKE our readers to demonstrate their biblical knowledge from time to time; so were pleased with M. J. Leppard’s contribution to the last caption competition: “The instructor offered to take more than one, but was reminded: ‘His Grace is sufficient for thee’ (2 Corinthians 12.9).”
Most references, though, were more contemporary: “The Archbishop’s plan to lighten the atmosphere at Lambeth hit a snag when the skin blew off the pantomime horse” (Liz Breuilly); “The Archbishop’s plan to make a dramatic entrance at the Lambeth Conference went horribly wrong when the wind changed direction and he ended up in Jerusalem” (Penny Sloman); “The Archbishop’s parachute jump gave Gene Robinson an idea for gaining entry to Lambeth 08” (Charles Taylor); and (our favourite) “The Anglican Communion is often in free fall, but there has always been a soft landing (so far)” (Don Manley).
Or there was that other issue: “A flying archbishop: the Synod’s final solution for breakaway dioceses” (Jonathan Haigh); “Dr Sentamu’s fears were confirmed: flying bishops really do have more fun” (Derwyn Willams); “Drat! The Bishop of Beverley has still got to the confirmation before me” (Janet Chapman); and “We’ve had flying bishops; now for a plummeting Primate” (Michael Swan).
Not that the readers aren’t above a little lavatory humour: “Next time, listen a little more carefully to the instructions about where the toilet door is” (Audrey Margaret); and “I know you’re scared, but wait till we land” (Vicky Lundberg).
Corin Child filed the longest, slowest gag: “Cutting up his dogcollar in protest at the regime in Zimbabwe had gone very well, and suddenly the Archbishop had a new idea to demonstrate how the generals in Burma had severed the cords of human kindness”; especially when compared with Brian Simmons’s “This is the last time I go drinking with Rowan.” Similar ideas from Arthur Hack: “And all because the laity loves Milk Tray”, and Carl Edwards: “And all because the lady loves (wait for it . . .) Divine chocolate.”
A few random entries that we enjoyed: “After reading the 27th ‘para-church’ pun, the editor lost the will to live” (Saun Clarkson); “My Provincial Registrar might beg to differ, but I think at 13,000 feet we’re safely out of the Bishop of London’s jurisdiction” (David Wilbourne); “Anticipating the Lambeth Conference, the Archbishop was putting in some practice in flying by the seat of his pants” (Donald Wetherick); “In his hurry to bail out, the Archbishop had forgotten to bring his chair” (Alan Wright); and “The Archbishop always knew he would be raptured one day, but he had never thought about the actual mechanism” (B. Jones).
The fairtrade chocolate prize was, as ever, kindly donated by Divine (www.divinechocolate.com). |
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